It Goes On

2011 has been a remarkable year for me in so many ways that I am certain I will overlook a few people and events that deserve mention, and so I beg forgiveness in advance if I do so.

With the national launch of the Emilio cigar brand I've found myself suddenly showered with praise, accolades, and recognition. While this is gratifying in the extreme it must be said that none of this would have happened without a curious and unexpected series of changes in my life.

Because a single strident voice in my life had for years told me I was destined to failure I had lost faith in myself, and come to believe those words. I should never have, and no one should ever allow that to be visited on them by another.  I look back and realize that every single thing I've done in life I have indeed been successful at. Yet, I was measuring myself by accomplishment, and not by status, possessions, or wealth, none of which I had an interest in. But I was being measured by whether I had a corner office, a prestigious title, and lived in an exclusive neighborhood. I was deemed a failure because I could not become a different person than I was, and am.

In these last few years, as that voice has become more and more a dim echo, I have realized that I was surrounded by people who universally believed in and encouraged me, and in fact always had been. I just hadn't listened. I will never make that mistake again.

And so, I close this year by reflecting on and thanking those who have given me a healthy dose of something I had been missing for years - happiness.

Without the blessing and support of the Zucca family, and Scott Zucca in particular, the Emilio brand might still be a dream.  Although many in the cigar industry had suggested I should pursue the creation of a brand it was he who said "why not?", and afforded me the opportunity to create the brand while retaining my job and economic security. He did not have to do that, but he chose to, and thus enabled me to achieve this dream.

The doors that have been opened to me by people in the industry who I now consider family have been numerous. Eddie Ortega, A. J. Fernandez, and Jaime Garcia in particular have gone out of their way to share knowledge, and to offer all the help I needed to make this dream a reality. Their patient nurturing, kindness, and willingness to share are things for which words alone can never express enough gratitude. I thank them.

Throughout this period of learning, experimentation, and growth it has been a wonder to me that despite some oversights on my part there were people who believed from the beginning that we were really onto something by being the quirky little company we are. Alan Price, our first sales representative, has given us his absolute energizer bunny best. When Nathan McIntyre came aboard he brought a whole new perspective and degree of thoughtfulness and creativity that brings out the best in all of us.

The level of support and recognition we've received from that oft misunderstood group of pundits known as bloggers has been overwhelming. Without them a small company like ours could never have gotten the exposure and attention we have, and I wish there were a better way to acknowledge their kindness, but a tremendous thanks will have to suffice.

Rarely in life can we say that a very special individual has been the single most important influence on us, but in my case I have been blessed that I can. Only a few years ago someone came into my life who has slowly, quietly, and unselfishly given me the gift of becoming the dearest person I know. She epitomizes what every person should strive to be - generous, caring, sincere, honest, creative, thoughtful, and so much more. At a point in her own life when anyone else would have had nothing in them to give, she still did, without hesitation, at every turn where it was most important. Thank you Jonnie, you have given me more than you will ever know, and more than I can ever hope to repay. You believed.

In the midst of all the chaos and confusion of creating this brand, letting go a painful past, and beginning in middle age to find my own way and steer my own course there have been many others who have stood by me, and I thank you every one. I look forward to the coming year with happy anticipation, knowing that what will come will be exciting, challenging, and occasionally hectic, but that we will all have fun with whatever comes our way. A good friend reminded me the other day of a quote by Robert Frost, which somehow seems very appropriate to close with. "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."